The front of The Sun today: Keith Floyd alongside Patrick Swayze, and ‘They had the time of their lives’ written above their faces. I have been waiting all my life for a thematic link between Keith Floyd and Patrick Swayze to emerge, and now we have one.

Also I was thinking it would be really good if there was a kind of booze made from meat. I’ve love to get smashed on liquid beef.

I’ll go and have a bath.